Miscarriages and Stillbirths

Miscarriages and stillbirths are sometimes an unspoken loss. Societal support may be minimal as these events are often be unshared, secret, or viewed as a taboo topic. There can also be a lack of understanding about the significance of a pregnancy loss. Responses such as “you can just try again” are not uncommon, and they minimize the meaning of the loss. Some people also wrongly assume that women are the only ones who are impacted by a miscarriage or stillbirth. People of all genders can obviously be deeply impacted by losing a pregnancy.

A miscarriage or stillbirth is not only the loss of a pregnancy, but for many it is also the loss of a hope and dream for the future. It is frequently experienced as a traumatic event. Some people, in a quest to explain and make sense of the loss, blame themselves for losing a pregnancy and may feel guilt, shame or rage. People who were ambivalent about the pregnancy may feel additional guilt and confusion after a loss.

Support may be minimal or misguided. In our society some people have false assumptions about pregnancy loss, such as a belief that no attachment took place because the baby did not live outside of utero. It is important to recognize that a deep bond is frequently formed as a baby is conceived, carried, and waited for.